Dominance, Power, & Control: Predators and Prey: The Whys Behind Toxic, Mean Men and Women
Spiritually weak men and women try to dominate by acting nasty & degrading others, verbally or physically. Learn the toxic person's playbook and how to operate in the lasting POWER of love.
Where Does the Power of Evil and Love Come From?
From the beginning of time, as we know it from the Bible, the struggle of good (love) vs evil has been in play. God is love and love has always been. The prideful, arrogant angel, Lucifer/Satan/Devil, had power given to him by God - but lost his place because he chose to go against God, choosing evil, in the quest for dominance, power, and control. He wanted to be God. To be dominate. To be the all powerful. He wanted all others to submit to his authority.
Evil wants control, dominance, and power over others. Not to help them, lead them, guide them into what is best for them, but to lead them, guide them, influence them into what is best for the predator. Predators operate in the power of evil.
Toxic people feel envious, insecure, and powerless so "go after" others in order to feel powerful. The Bible tells us Satan is after humanity. We can believe it or not.
Evil is powerful. Love is more powerful than evil. The Bible tells us love wins in the end.
Love wants what is best for others. God is LOVE and operates in the power of love. Those operating in the power of LOVE, uplift, encourage, and help others in a way that is empowering to the ones they help.
People who have an internal, enduring spiritual power in this world are operating in the power of love. They do not seek to control, dominate, and degrade others.
When others are losing in life, those operating in love, seek to help, serve, or encourage them.
Those operating in evil are glad for the “bad luck” or downfall of their “friend” or other person. At the very least, they are apathetic to those suffering. If it’s not them, it’s not their problem. Not my monkey, not my circus.
When others are doing well in life, those operating in love, support and celebrate their wins. They feel that their friend or spouse or other person winning, is a win for them too.
Jealous and envious people do not support their friend, spouse, family member, co-workers or others in their wins. They feel that others winning means that they are losing.
Toxic people seek to undermine, tear down, and devalue people who win. They believe this makes them superior and powerful.
It does not and never will.
People who operate in the power of love see these toxic behaviors as weak because they are weak. They understand that these people feel powerless, are unhappy, and insecure and are taking out their own feelings of inferiority and unhappiness on them (called projection or scapegoating)- which is weak.
Powerful people do not need to be nasty or hurtful to other people. The power of love causes people to be able to still want the good of others and celebrate with them even if they themselves are currently in a season of unhappiness or feeling insecure because of illness, life position, grief, loss, or financial problems, etc.
Empowering others feels powerful to powerful people.
Dis-empowering others feels like power to weak and toxic people. Weak people seek to make others feel weak.
Playbook of Mean Women and Mean Men
Why do mean men and women exist? They were once dominated by weak and toxic people or are currently being dominated by weak and toxic people. Damaged, hurt, or traumatized men or women, who do not choose to heal or do not know how to heal, may try to get power by becoming toxic - because it “feels” powerful to hurt others.
But that is a lie. That is fake power. Feelings are not always truth. Healed and healthy people learn that the real power is in love. Even when they falter and have moments or days or weeks of feeling powerless, they are able to come back to the power of love, the power of Jesus Christ and of God, and “get back up” mentally. They are empowered by love and therefore can operate in loving ways by celebrating, uplifting, encouraging, and helping others.
If someone feels they need to “get back up” by tearing others down, they have given into evil and the fake power of meanness. They are operating in dis-empowerment and trying to get power through hurting others. These people learn they can feel powerful when they hurt someone psychologically or physically and this leads to their believing that to feel good and powerful and in control, that they need to hurt or tear others down.
Living life in gratitude, helping, or serving others gives us feelings of empowerment. No “hit” of power that meanness causes is needed. The feel good hormone is continuous in loving acts and in gratitude. Evil is powerful. Love is more powerful than evil.
We all have moments or weeks or months - or maybe even years when life is rough. We may be going through a hard time and then also people around us are going through a hard time, making our life harder. People hurt us because they begin operating in weakness because of their own pain.
All of this makes continued feelings of “feel good” harder. That’s why we need a source of love - God/Jesus - who is a continued source of power and love. Love helps us through life. Illness, toxic exposures, financial troubles, grief and loss, hopes and dreams unrealized - all take hits on our ability to feel good.
None of us are going to act perfectly and we can all be toxic and weak in moments. But we either choose to repent, seek forgiveness, and continue going back to our source of love - or we choose to become a weak person who tries to feel better by hurting others, operating in evil instead of love.
Not operating in love will cause us to become mean or apathetic and live in weakness.
Women and men who feel powerless and weak try to get power over others in toxic ways by being physically aggressive including rape or beating up other people or being verbally and psychologically abusive to other men and women and children.
Mean men and women try to act dominant in the work place, friendships, or at home by being condescending, belittling, undermining or devaluing others achievements or person-hood, and through gossip or slander.
Covert toxic women and men do all of the weak and controlling behaviors in more subtle, society-accepted ways. Covert toxic people know that to make themselves look good but still tear down others, they need to act concerned about other’s well-being and phrase criticisms and devaluing remarks or acts under the guise of concern about someone or some group or some cause.
The evil power behind the intentions are the same but their way of attempting to get power, dominance, and control can appear to be serving others instead of self-serving. These kind of people care about their public image but their heart is not right, so they are not operating in love, and therefore they do not care about what is done in private or secret. They are sneaky in their meanness and toxicity- which is cowardly and weak.
A jealous, envious friend or family member who is unhappy and feels powerless in their own life doesn’t support their “friend” and may also gossip or slander their friend to others. Many women and men have been on the receiving end of these kind of “friendships”.
Many women are sad to realize the “mean girl” phase in teenage years, where many insecure girls acted in this way, does not end. Mean girls can become mean women and sometimes even the once secure and happy female friends can turn mean and nasty, even if covertly, because of their own unhappiness and insecurity during their adults years, when life is not going as hoped or planned.
Toxic mean men cut others down, talk down to others and do many of the same behaviors as toxic mean women, it may just look different. They feel dominate when they are making others look stupid or bad in some way. Toxic women do this too.
The covert toxic men and women in the elite circles are the ones pretending to be philanthropists - while making money off of making others sick. They push chemicals, toxins, and other policies onto people they deem “lesser” or of less value and worth. But pretend they are doing it all for the greater good. And that it’s all safe and effective.
Also high on the spectrum of toxicity and evil is pedophilia, rapists, sex traffickers, serial killers, and black mailers of forcing sex acts on others so they will be in the submissive position and the predator will be in the dominant position.
Pedophilia is a different type of weak and evil and those committing that evil is for the purpose of feeling powerful and in control by hurting the innocent - maybe just as they were hurt as a child. It is not a “preference” like some toxic people are trying to push. It is criminal and evil and intended to lessen someone or take their innocence in order to feel powerful.
Serial killers and rapists do not hurt others for the mere act of it. They are wanting to feel powerful and in control and will tell those interviewing them about how powerful they felt while committing these atrocious acts.
God promises justice. Revenge is in the hands of the living God, ultimately. Though some may pay for their sins in this life, no one gets away with unrepentant sin and using and abusing others. We all stand before the judgement seat of Christ - either forgiven and rewarded or to face the judgement of God for what we have done or allowed.
P Diddy and Epstein
The cases of P Diddy and Jeffrey Epstein and the “whys” behind these rings of blackmail and control are perfect examples of the upper end of the spectrum. Sex is an act that also has spiritual and psychological consequences, good or bad, depending on the context.
Toxic men and women who seek to control other men, women, or children through sex acts, do this to put them in the subservient position because they want their prey to feel psychologically tied to them, under their influence, and below them in hierarchy.
Forced sex acts on them or blackmail over them can accomplish this for the predators. Sometimes more powerful predators are trying to dominate less powerful predators. Power, control, dominance and influence is what these rings are all about.
For an in-depth review of these cases and how the P Diddy and Jeffrey Epstein circles intertwine, read this article One Label Under Blackmail: The Early Intersections of Diddy and the Epstein Network by C.Z. Means and Whitney Webb.
Masculine Men vs Weak Men & Radical Feminists
Healthy thinking men are the masculine men who are protectors in society who stop weak men and women from hurting others.
Weak men are predators who hurt others. Women can also be predators who hurt others.
We want and need masculine men in our communities and our country for protection. We do not want strong men degraded, talked down to, spoken of like they are less valuable or worthy than women.
Aggression in masculine men is different from aggression in weak men. High testosterone and aggression is a good thing when people are under threat.
Toxic men are aggressive predators. That’s different. It’s not about protecting. It’s about controlling, having power over, and trying to be dominant over their prey.
The only way to stop weak men is to have strong men in society. We need healthy, masculine fathers, brothers, community members, etc.
Men who are pedophiles have stated in interviews that the only deterrent to them going after a child is if there is a strong man in the household that is involved in the child’s life. That is the only type of person the weak men see as a threat. Whether or not the child had a strong female in their life did not matter to them. They said they could get to a child who did not have a strong male figure. That’s not to say that women cannot protect children. But just an insight into how a pedophile’s mind works.
Weak, toxic men are the predators looking for prey - not masculine, healthy men. Masculine is not the problem.
Men who are damaged, traumatized, or hurt and do not choose to heal or do not know how to heal can become the predators of society and can create more predators and radical feminists.
Radical feminists often were damaged, traumatized, or hurt by a weak, toxic man/men in their childhood. Though mothers are usually protectors, some mothers are not and do not protect their daughters from weak and toxic men. I’ve known many women whose mothers overlooked the abuse on purpose to not have to deal with the situation. Sometimes a passive father and a cruel mother are sufficient for women to despise men - sins of omission from the father who did not stand up for the daughter.
And of course, there are situations where both parents were healthy but failed to protect their child only because they did not know what was going on or know they that needed to intercede on the child’s behalf.
We need the masculine, healthy men to lead and teach young men how to be protectors, how to heal, how to direct their energy and hormones in productive ways, and how to be a man that uplifts society, protects women and children, and loves others.
Feminism was intended to lift women up and remind society that women are equal in value and worth and are as intelligent and capable as men and to put laws in place on women’s behalf.
Radical feminism has overstepped that empowering movement and instead turned to trying to gain power over men by speaking and acting as though men are below women and tearing them down. That’s toxic.
Masculine men are needed and important in society. Women are needed and important in society.
We have to be for each other and against toxicity and weakness.
How to Operate in the Power of LOVE
God is our validation. If we need validation from people - if we need anything from people - we begin to feel insecure, rejected, unsettled, and resentful. Our need is God. Some people will be there for us - but some of the people we wish would - will not and may actively go against us and hurt us.
God is our source of love, our strength, our stronghold. Our ever present help in trouble. Our rock.
We can look at people’s criticisms, rejections, and failures toward us as dots. People’s admiration, validation, or praise as stars. They are just dots. They are just stars. They don’t mean anything. If we need stars then we will care about dots. And who are people to give us stars or dots, anyway? (reference: Mark Lucado’s You Are Special children’s book about dots and stars - so good to read to children!).
Our God is our creator and is not impressed or moved by our stars, dots, awards, or trophies or anything else from people. His opinion of us is ALL that matters.
Our circumstances won’t always be great and we may not get everything we want in this life, but if we go through the Bible and read the stories, we see that the best people still had hard lives of suffering. People still failed them. But God was with them and was their foundation and their help in suffering.
The Bible tells us that we will suffer too. Our hope is that God is with us in the suffering and will lead us through to the end. And that he will use all of our suffering for the good - like He says.
Comparing ourselves to other people and their lives makes us miserable. We are all on our own journey. If our ability to be loving depends on how well our own lives are going or how badly others lives are going - we will be stuck in immaturity. Jesus tells us to grow in maturity. Extreme immaturity is narcissism.
We do our best to be spiritually healthy and have spiritually healthy, loving, kind, and respectful people in our lives. But people are just people. They will fail us. We will fail them. They will act out toward us in projection or scapegoating and we will fire back or vice versa. None of us perfect, none of us are above speaking or acting in ways we shouldn’t. We all need forgiveness, grace, mercy, and love.
Our only foundation that can not be shaken is God himself. God above us, God within us, God for us. God draws us to him, Jesus saves us, and the Holy Spirit seals us. All else can fall. All else will fall. At the end of our lives, our last breath, we need Jesus. God is love and love is the most powerful force of all and is available to all for eternity.
With the power of the Holy Spirit, we can choose to love, serve, help, heal, and live in gratitude to the best of our abilities and despite our circumstances and evil people. Love wins.
Eventually, the Bible says, the tycoons of the world who deceive the nations by their pharmakeia (which means sorcery, witchcraft, drugs, poisons, and medicine) will take total control - one world government, one world religion, cashless society so they have complete control and power…pretending it’s all for the good of the world.
All people will be forced to take “the mark” (which no one yet knows what that is) to buy or sell. Not taking the mark and choosing Jesus leads to eternal life. It is thought by the writings in the Bible, that those who choose Jesus before the world gets to this point, will be taken up (also referred to as raptured) to heaven - a different realm. But the people who choose evil, rejecting Jesus, will be destroyed along with the earth, to live in an eternal hell without God.
We need the power of God to overcome the power of evil and it will. Until that day, God gives us the Holy Spirit and the name of Jesus to pray in power, to overcome, to help, to drive out evil, and to help us through the valley of the shadow of death - our tough times.
Jesus will comfort us when friends betray us, others use and abuse us, and the Holy Spirit will give us strength to fight another day in love.
We choose love and loving ways over and over again. Repent, ask forgiveness, forgive others, and choose love again. (Forgiveness doesn’t mean we stay in contact with toxic people - we need distance from those kind of people. If they are family, we need boundaries).
We pray for God to change our heart to be like Jesus. We pray that the power of the Holy Spirit will give us strength, help us love, forgive, fight and heal.
The Bible is our best resource to teach us how to operate in the power of love. We can read the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament to see how he operated in love despite all the evil.
Therapy can help. But love will heal - maybe not completely in this life but in the next life - eternal life, we are healed and all will live in love.
Until then, we expose evil deeds as evil. We do what we can with the resources God has given us in the ways he call us to be the light and expose and stop evil. We speak of the powerful force of love, of God, of Jesus. And we put love into action the best we can. If we need to heal so we can be loving and feel loved, we do that.
Counseling and Coaching Resources
My Counselor online - virtual Christian counseling
BetterHelp - virtual counseling
Hailey Magee - virtual coaching for those wanting to overcome the effects narcissism, people-pleasing, learn to set boundaries, and advocate for self
Dr. Les Carter - online courses to heal from narcissism and more information and resources.
Leslie Vernick - virtual coaching, resources, and online community for Christian women who are in or have been in narcissistic or toxic marriages or relationships (they do not judge for those staying or for those leaving - leaving a narcissist is often necessary for mental/emotional, physical, and spiritual health and healing).
Freedom Fighters - virtual prayer group - Holy Spirit led healing and deliverance for those who believe in Jesus. This is very powerful and effective for many people.